Saturday, April 28, 2012

I Can't Decide

One thing that some aspies have more problems with than others is decisiveness.  I even have that issue on deciding what to write for this blog some days, hence weeks without posts.  Well, that and time.

I was confronted with a decision on what song I should continue to work on for the upcoming music project that I will release next month (self-promotion moment).  I've been told the beat tape should be longer, but I'm afraid of releasing lackluster tracks on it. Not sure what would be better when I weigh pros and cons, and I might still think about it once released.  There's another time I was considering a fantasy baseball trade and took advice from three others on if I should pull this off...and let the deal stall for weeks before nixing it.  This is fantasy baseball we're talking about and I couldn't make a decision on if my team would be better.

My issue with decisions really comes from a simple desire above all: to do the right thing.

Somehow the supermarket isn't as confusing.
Mainly because I know what I want already.

I hate being given too many choices; the more equal choices I have, the harder it is to pick one. I get scared when I'll choose what is the "wrong" one and suffer the consequence of regret or blame. For years, I was almost always about chicken meals at restaurants, particularly fast food. I didn't want to make the tough decision in that case, and thankfully I did not have to.  I know what works, if I stick with that, then I can't make a mistake.  I think that's also a small part of what made me so good with learning maps and following routes after repetition.  It's "kind of like a rat learning a maze," to quote something I saw on the Wrong Planet forum. If I follow familiar and tested routes, then I'm less likely to hit a dead end and collapse from anxiety.

The reverse is when I act on impulse. I sometimes act because there's a need for me to do something right away, going back to a need to prove myself.  When driving, I'll make a rash decision on what direction to take just to show others that I know exactly where I'm going, even though my "human GPS" tag only applies to places I've studied on the map for a long time. I've also made some rash decisions at work to show my value, which hadn't consistently paid off.

The decision to me, is more of a validation, to put it in blunt terms.  I want to be right for myself and everyone else and show the world what I can do.  All interconnected.


  1. Sounds like indecisiveness may or may not be your issue. What I learned is to accept that the decisions are ultimately inconsequential and if they turn out wrong you just need to make the necessary adjustments to ensure that all works out. My advice is just don't worry too much about them. I hope that helps.

  2. You don't have to be an Aspie to have issues with being decisive. I also have that problem. There are studies that show too many choices can overwhelm us & can be paralyzing. I can relate!