Sunday, August 15, 2010

"Resident Player"

I am part of this autism spectrum volunteer/support group in the area, and the support part happens each month. So this time we were talking about dating and social relationships as the first in a two-part series, since it's a huge topic for all of us.

At one point, the discussion facilitator referred to me as the 'resident player' when mentioning experiences that others had.  I think it stemmed from a comment I made about hitting the dating scene and how I had 'dates with girls' on the dating scene.  The key is that it was plural.

I know they say that most Aspies don't have a lot of dating success.  I can't say I've had a ton of it myself; I still think I lucked out having the same girlfriend for some 4.5 years, which means I spent a lot of time not dating around.  There are some superficial advantages.  Though you can't see a picture (at least now), I believe myself to be a reasonably attractive young man; I also live in the heart of Philadelphia where there are plenty of singles waiting to date a reasonably attractive young man.

That might be another part of why I received such a comment, as I mentioned multiple women and in contrast to some other members I'm seen as one of the ones who could sometimes pass off for an NT.  Most of the group I was with for the support session, the majority (I'd say 80-90%) were not married, and only half of us were in or recently got out of relationships.  Maybe that's what contributed to the comment.  I was able to speak as a nice guy, while some Aspies were convinced that you had to be a jerk to get a female; the females in the place weren't into jerks themselves, but people are just different.  I'm still getting used to this whole 'player' rep that I apparently have relative to people like myself.

It isn't even a rep.

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