Run/Walk for Autism

Well, I'm back...again...at last.

So there's a few entries to catch up on over time. First, an event.

One year ago this past October, I volunteered at the Triangle RunWalk for Autism, sponsored by the Autism Society of North Carolina, who I have worked with since early 2013. It's rather interesting to see families come together for any cause, but the way they take over Moore Square for the race is rather cool. Now I was at it again.

Difference this time is that I was a runner, so I got to combine my running ambitions with the chance to help the cause. I was captain of a small team for the event that branched off the House of Hops Running Club. At least I didn't have to show up at sunrise this year, but even as a runner I kept looking out for members at the event who I knew or worked with previously. I somehow didn't find too many folks that I was close with at first glance, but I was also trying to stay around my team for the event.

Then we got to the actual race. Once again, recognized something new as a participant. The instructions were much more clear and not "implied" as they often are at races. This includes having to step between the cones for your chip time to start and instructions on where to expect the turns, including the bend at Person Street. Maybe there were a few high functioning competitors like myself, so they wanted to pay mind to us...like I've said before, we're pretty smart people but do need things explained on occasion. Though I didn't quite notice if there were noise markings closer to the speakers, which blasted music as most races would.

As for the run itself, I didn't expect to PR (personal record) after a buffet dinner at Tyler's tap room last night, and two beers to boot. Somehow my body was ready and the ladyfriend's electrolyte tablet kicked. My chip time was 22:32, enough for a 7:15/mile pace. Some run fixations I typically have didn't take hold until the second mile, such as looking at my watch to check my pace considering how well I started. Funny thing is that it didn't even slow me down. They also had the usual encouraging spectators at the event.

Basically, what I like about the event is that it brings folks together for the awareness of autism, but they make the event friendly to those on the spectrum. Many of them are participants (and children to boot), who are in the event for fun or cheering on their own family who run as a tribute. It was great to be on the running side this year, and now I need to figure out which side to be part of again...well, once I'm cleared to run again, but that's another story.

Now I have a lot more to catch up on with the blog...

Autism and Information Technology: Big Data for Diagnosis

The final installment of this month's Autism and Information Technology series, and the last part of April's blog challenge (plus Autism Awareness Month). My last three entries were focused more so on people with autism getting into the IT field for careers, including my own journey and my current job search. This time, why not reverse it.

So how can advances in information technology benefit those on the spectrum? Well, that's a long topic in itself, but a one technology had me curious to say the least. At the end of March I attended a conference called Data4Decisions. One of the sessions at this conference was on big data and analytics transforming life sciences from a patient perspective. A focal point of the presentation came from the Duke University Medical Center, where they discussed a new algorithm to diagnose autism through the toddler's behavior and other data gained on this in-hospice app. The data gained from this technology would be used to interpret if a child could truly be considered on the autism spectrum.

As we were told at the forum, the behaviors could be mapped to various questions and screening tests. Then the big data part comes into play, which is where I get curious as to how the data is used and programmed. I went through some tests as a child but not to this extent. While I don't know what programming languages are being used here, the data model at hand is another complex question.

Naturally, I wonder if this technology could be adapted to adults, so that we can understand each other in our interpersonal relationships. Many adults have been diagnosed later in life, particularly over the last decade. There is potential to tweak the algorithms and develop the app to use more verbal functions and continue to break through with big data. With the new $9.75 million grant in place for Duke's entire Information Initiative, the possibilities continue. It's how data and information technology can be used to help not only detect if a child is on the spectrum, but how to understand the child as well.

Autism and Information Technology: New Efforts for Kids to Code

So here's chapter three in the blog challenge series. It's a bit rushed since it's the blog challenge and I haven't given myself time to write, but I knew I should still write anyway, or more accurately to advertise for something worth your time and money that I came across.

A man in Edinburgh, Scotland was concerned that his autistic son would not have the opportunities that most NT people would receive. It is true that most diagnosed autistics are often unemployed or underemployed (I guess I just became part of that statistic, but I've been successfully employed for most of my life). So he started a new effort to help kids with something where demand and aptitude are definitely there.

Thus we now have this great Indiegogo project to empower kids around the world on the spectrum to become master coders. There's a few reasons this project is pretty essential.

• It's a practical skill. As I mentioned in a previous entry, the spectrum tends to be a logical place. Code is about logic. In this case, the teens get a head start on technology that may not always be addressed in school.
• The employment problem gets resolved. People can figure out whether it is better to be self employed or under an employer, depending on how the person works. There are new ideas for apps that come out every day. Now they can start making these a reality, much like some of my good friends have done with plugins and apps in their local communities.
• The kids get some soft skills. The chance to work with these teachers and other students in a one-on-one environment will help with that key communication component. It will help when it comes time for, say, collaborative projects.

For those following with the #SQLNewBlogger challenge, how does it relate to data? Well, the data is a big deal today. If they learn some languages for apps, then they can take a huge step to becoming a modern DBA. I would think this helps in environments increasingly using open stacks, Java technologies, or even anything NoSQL. A good point for discussion among the professional family.

I really want to see how far this can go. Any donation helps!

Autism and Information Technology: Back on the Job Hunt

I'll be pivoting slightly in this blog challenge series, as I now need to publicly address a turn in my career and how I'll be doing things a bit differently...in a style that neurotypical people may relate to anyway.

At this time last year I found myself looking for a new job after company cuts. Turns out that only one year later, I find myself back in that exact situation. This time, I essentially worked myself out of the job when it was revealed that one of the interface engineer positions was eliminated. My main project responsibilities were shifted to a different team after it was determined that support could just maintain what I helped to build. The other factor working against me was being the greener member of the whole team. People originally expected me to stay a long time (as did I, naturally), but when someone had to go, current experience trumped my potential. I've tried not to be bitter about that, as business is about the bottom line.

So I find myself, an autistic and an IT person, as a free agent again. I succeeded last year, but this time some aspects are a bit more difficult to navigate. In the last year since joining my company in June, my skill set has expanded. I'm still mostly within the Microsoft stack, but they also used some open stack technologies and other in house solutions. So I picked up some Hadoop and Python along the way for various reasons. I did not do as much on the reporting side versus the job I held from 2011-2014, but I still did work with SSIS and integration. There were even some simple DBA-style tasks in there, particularly involving login security and tuning for our production environments. However, it still wasn't quite enough work doing these new things for the health care industry. It's as if I can say "yeah, I started some of this, and even did a script, but that may be it." Or, as I was told, I can let others know how easy it is to train me; the hard part was getting used to the minutiae of the industry I had switched into.

Naturally, I go through the phase of asking: what the fuck have I actually accomplished anywhere? I think about how those of us on the spectrum have accomplished big things, but then I go through the wallow where my attention deficit tendencies may have cost me in the past. I compare it to other friends and notables that have not gone through the same thing, regardless of career title. However, this year it occurred to me that I can adapt to trends just like everyone in my profession. Which has allowed me to approach the job hunt differently.

Continue with what I started learning, while picking up skills in other languages.
Not just Python, Hadoop, or other data visualization tools. I'm actually going to dust off the Java and continue to enhance my Linux abilities during my off time when not searching for jobs. Not saying I'll learn everything at once, but I'll see what I get through. I found myself impulsively taking advantage of deals on StackSocial where I figured skills would be necessary. I bought a Linux bundle (where I can fool with it on my virtual box) and one with multiple languages, which should help me do cool things like create mobile applications and even help build better data. I know some of this may be an Aspie impulse, depending on who you are.

Go to every SQL Server training session I can.
Face it, I have to bring up MSSQL because of the origination of the blog challenge, and also that's where my greatest strength has always been since I got a big boy job seven years ago. My debate was always, after taking the 70-461 exam, whether I should take the last two for my SQL Server 2012 certification, or if I should wait for SQL Server 2014 instead. Regardless I am still eager to get the MCSA on my record sooner than later once I figure out the path I wish to take. The good thing is that with a lot of the Microsoft technologies starting to wane (though Azure seems to be the reinvention effort), I'm at least most proficient in the one that will always seem to live on. In the meantime, I'll be attending a few training sessions to pick up skills. I have to stick with the free stuff for now.

Freelancing again.
I did a project for someone in Houston last spring/summer while looking for more permanent work, and I'm looking at going that route again with those I find in my network. Now it's already been noted that it's not my strong suit, but some of the connects I made at fairs and conferences allowed me to thrive some more. I've mentioned many times that I'm a spectrum person who thrives off experience, and this is a perfect opportunity. I also will continue to work on my brother's website, allowing me some Wordpress opportunities if this goes well.

Autism volunteer efforts continued.
Yeah, this is also how I am keeping myself busy, in addition to all of the above, and even the occasional ride share effort. I'm now more motivated than ever to get that GRASP chapter started in the Triangle, especially now that I have someone who will help with the effort. I also might make a turn-and-burn trip out of state to talk with autism researchers (not giving details yet). It's like I'm moonlighting as an Asperger advocate, which will also come in handy with a new story to tell. On some of the Asperger forums, many of us realize that we have all lost jobs, or failed to make ourselves irreplaceable. So my hope is that I can give them yet another story on how I keep getting myself hired, especially for fellow IT people.

These steps are all over the place, and it's getting them settled and broken into those Will Freeman style segments that will count. Always tough for the Aspie to start, but easy for the Aspie to complete. Information technology is an area where it's easy to get hired and easy to get laid off, and the question is how someone on the spectrum handles it. Considering how recently I went through the same thing, I feel okay about this.

Recapping a Speaking Engagement

Earlier this month, I was in Philadelphia for a weekend trip. Hadn't been back in nearly six months. The reason was an autism awareness benefit put on by members of the city's hip hop community. Two of the event organizers have children who were diagnosed with ASD, both younger than 10. My brother was one of the performers that night, so he had requested my presence. It was an opportunity to speak to others while providing some hope for the organizers, that many of us can make it in the world.

The event was set up to give to a local group called The Big A Foundation, a camp for autistic children focused on sports and arts. The founders were in attendance, though I unfortunately did not get much time with them. Though if you're a Philadelphia area reader, check them out for yourself. While having not worked with them personally, the focus of the camps and discussion with one of the parents definitely provides enough of an endorsement.As all proceeds went to the group, they eliminated the guest list as they have at most music events, meaning everyone was to donate...a good plan if you ask me. Allowed for nearly $1500 to come in for the night.

My piece kicked off the show. Below is a loose transcript for my speech (I went off the cuff slightly):

Here I am standing in front of a crowd of hip hop heads for an autism awareness night event. If you asked me if I’d ever do public speaking, I probably wouldn’t think of this. Then again, I probably wouldn’t think to be my current life situation, having slowly left my comfort zone over the years.

You see, I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism at the age of four. I didn’t really talk much,  I lined up my toys by colors and sizes as much as I played with them the way they were intended…I loved building blocks for that reason. I ran around in circles aimlessly. Once I was diagnosed, my parents ran into a paradox. Their concern was taking care of me into adulthood, but at the same time psychologists were noting that I was gifted and could attend some of the best colleges.

I first went to a special education class in kindergarten and first grade, where my social and mental abilities could properly develop. It was essentially where I got to interact with other kids and not experience the initial pressures from hanging with peers. It was then determined that I had progressed enough to leave special education for the regular classroom. Along the way I exceeded the expectations of many, graduating high school sixth in my class, gaining a full scholarship to Shippensburg University, and then graduating with honors distinction and landing a nice IT job, eventually leaving the Philly area for Raleigh, North Carolina in 2011. I’m now enrolled in the MBA program at North Carolina State, and by the end of the year should be a Microsoft Certified Database Professional.

My timeline has been solid, and I’d like to believe that I’m one of the stories of someone who made the best of ASD. However, let’s be real…there is always doubt on how well a child on the spectrum will turn out. Some need longer time in life skills classes, or to go to vocational schools. Some may graduate from college but struggle in the job market, and realize that it’s similar to most other folks. It’s hard to say, but the key is learning now. This way when you see me today, I’m merely up on stage as an eccentric bozo, and not an alien life form.

What helped me in a big way was the network. Family. Teachers. Psychologists. Even my peers as I got older and more comfortable with my diagnosis. They didn’t see my autism as something to be cured, but rather to be embraced. My ability to work logical equations has led to a fine IT career. Hell, I make a great bar trivia partner with my random sports and entertainment knowledge from reading so many Box Office Mojo and Billboard charts. What the kids who are different need is a network to express themselves and not ridicule them when they do something different, but to understand why they do it, and help them improve.

This isn’t to say I became someone really hip. Never a word that can describe me. For instance, I love hip hop, but I cannot recall 90% of the words to any songs, because there is so much overload. I know bits and pieces. However, it’s an instance of wanting to fit in every time I fake it, before someone like Mike can tell me that I’m doing it wrong. We’re also mostly Literal Larry, trying to think we’re in on the joke, but that’s about it. Once I figured out sarcasm…I didn’t get better. However, time and patience allowed me to get a better idea, and being honest about this shortcoming. Most importantly, we’re not social. We’re a bit withdrawn, but that’s because sometimes there’s so much going on that we gotta get out before we explode. I love live music because of the distraction. I hate clubs because you’re fighting everyone else. I didn’t get into live music until I was a teenager who was less sensitive to the “loudness” of concerts.

You can see so much potential. I recall 2010, going to meet with some kids brought together from Philadelphia schools. Seeing other children on the spectrum gave me a greater perspective on how I could help them. Along with playing with the children in groups, we asked them about their dreams and goals. One kid, a ten year old named Alan asked me how to get along with others. I admitted that it was a bumpy road, and others in his school probably wouldn’t know any better, not at least until he got to college. I said that what matters is the end; it’s not easy, but what others think is not what matters. There will be awkward moments, but if you embrace them and work on them, without forgetting to stay true to yourself, you will gain the respect of others. I knew that even with all his mannerisms, he has the potential to be someone amazing.

As the great philosopher, the Sage, the non prophet Paul Francis once declared, “I am different, in a different way. The only thing that stays the same is change.” That’s essentially who we are, where our differences are not really everything you expect, and that we’re still all humans. Basically, we’ll have to work harder in some areas, but we also have the ability to succeed at anything we try. Our brains are merely wired differently. People call each other weird all the time, but not everyone fits the weird you think. The autism spectrum is something to care about, because these are people who can still do great things like everyone in this building has done tonight. Autism doesn’t make a person incapable of life; the person just needs to be embraced in society like anyone else. All we are is a little different, but we're all human.

Thanks for coming out to support the spectrum!

Speaker in action.

This engagement was. Props to The Fire (the host venue), Rec Raw, Reef the Lost Cauze, and my brother Mike for making everything possible, and for the conversations. My expectation is that I could give hope to the parents with young children and much uncertainty.

Autism and Church

I haven't given myself the opportunity to post, as I returned from my European vacation on May 19, and then got good news from North Carolina State about their MBA program (I applied, and I was accepted). In the meantime, I present a great article about the spectrum and church. Hopefully I can finish my post concerning trip anxieties this week!

I'm not religious, but there is a good point raised here for those that are. The church, which is supposed to be a welcoming body, can do small things not to change their whole program, but to help the spectrum child feel included and not uncomfortable. Of course, the child could be like me and ask questions, but this isn't a skeptic forum. Enjoy the piece.

I also really want to knock that guy who wrote the comment off his block.

Starting Awareness Activity In New Places

In a few months, maybe by the start of 2012, I'm going to resume my activities of autism and aspie support, especially considering a series of events that have gone down personally.  As mentioned enough times before, I've taken a break from some of that 'activism' and finding the right groups to work with, as I have been getting settled in with a new job and a new place of residence.  However, my experiences with the groups of children in Philadelphia, and ASCEND and GRASP alike, made me want to continue with something if possible.

I have noticed that there aren't many nationally active groups in Raleigh-Durham, unfortunately.  So this leads to the possibility that I will need to start up something myself.  Our old GRASP chapter adviser in Philly and one of the members of our national board has been willing to give me support, and I'd like to see something happen since I still keep up with them.  However, the hard part about a startup with me is that I'm usually not the one meant to begin the project from the ground up.  I'm more often the type who runs with ideas after the seed is planted, ascending to leadership that way.  For instance, I joined an established GRASP group, but when help was needed for a national social network/mentoring project (which is unfortunately on hold right now due to various reasons, but we should get somewhere eventually), I stepped in.  I was also able to provide Bob with some help on operational tasks last year through my move south.  Starting from the ground up would not be as easy.

Maybe I'll have the chance to check out some groups.  I joined Meetup since I hardly know anyone down here, and found some Raleigh aspies in a group.  I'm supposed to meet with them next weekend (after the greatness that is Hopscotch Music Festival; seeing old friends but also possible networking if I don't close myself in).  That could be a gateway into finding a group, via other live people who can tell you suggestions where one did not look at first.

My final concern is time and priorities.  I have some music composition I'm doing for this fall that is high on my list, the continued acceleration of responsibility at my job, and a potential part-time teaching gig on computer basics.  So I can't stress myself out trying to do all of this at one time.  However, it is still of importance to me and it would be nice to get something started here and something back off the ground with me.  Anyone have any suggestions?

How did I go an entire month without an entry?  Too busy reigning my mind in, as always.

Autistics Changing Over Generations

I was at Temple University this evening working with autistic children…working with the kids is something myself and select other GRASP folks do on occasion. As I like to perceive it, takes one to know one. Some are of a high-functioning diagnosis, some are PDD-NOS, and some are developmentally worse off within the spectrum…they all range from ages 9-13 in this group.  I think some of them have really bright futures ahead when I hear them discuss their classwork.  One of them recited all 50 states in ascending order of statehood from Delaware through Hawaii, which was incredible.  My group played Clue during the last part of the session and three of us started quoting the movie and getting in depth with the characters. Unfortunately one of them had an outburst when a game rule wasn’t explained to him the correct way, and the yelling even made me, and the girl I worked alongside, uncomfortable like you would not believe.  Otherwise it was one of my most fulfilling nights I’ve had this year, in part because it was my first CAADC visit this year.

These kids are enterprising and logical, yet also idealistic and self-interested.  That would be typical of most children in that age range.  What strikes me sometimes is that as much as our personalities change, I’m not sure if Aspies change their behaviors to the degrees that an NT might.  In many ways, I’m still enterprising, logical, idealistic, and self-interested, and unfortunately it’s all I know.   Doesn’t mean I didn’t go through the usual transformations.  The person who walked across Seth Grove Stadium wearing a cap and gown is different than the person who first was moving into McCune Hall about 44 months prior.  The person writing this note is certainly different than the person who first accepted his current job back in February 2008…or even the one who first decided to do ASD outreach in recognition of his own situation.  It’s just that when a spectrum type goes through those changes, they are more likely to consider the change process itself rather than the actual personality change.  We are very analytical types to that degree.

They will likely go through personality changes like most people, and their environment would be something they brought back with them regardless of where they go.  The kids would be impressionable to their environment, which not all people on the spectrum are during adulthood.  However, there is the extreme as to how impressionable one is, and Aspies are often about extremes.  I know from my own experience that I bring my impressions with me in most of my environments, even if it does give me an appreciation of the part after I leave it (example being a likeness for the predominantly rural Central PA…there’s where you go for a Sunday drive).  I had a tendency to blend in with the culture around me because of the impression it left, whether it was a period of regular church service or my recent beer snob transformation since relocating to Center City West.  The changes allowed me, and others, to further understand the surroundings.

The behavior is what I’m unsure of, as adaptation seems to be an issue with any Aspies as they grow older.  Each of the kids that I had in my group had some sort of twitch, interestingly enough, and I thought about how I still have my twitch, and a few of those in GRASP are the same way.  There is still the muttering to oneself.  There is generally the same outlook that sometimes keeps us from the world, which can hurt many of those on the autism spectrum and causes some folks to give up on these kids as they get older.  However, it may just be due to the outlook that they cannot empathize or comprehend what others say in their own context. That’s the positive side; there are children with parents and professionals that have given them the coaching in order to help themselves succeed.  Afterwards they become more masterful communicators and despite keeping their fixations, these types become more self-aware.  It really just takes a little bit of help to get out of such an entrenched world, almost like the urban streets (side note: next on my Netflix queue is season four of The Wire, which should give me a comparison of institutions, however convoluted).

Seeing the youth again made me think about the autistic metamorphosis.  These kids just need a chance to be understood, and know that someone has been through these rough patches where they are afraid other peers do not understand them.  What they will pick up in high school and in college will be eye-opening to say the least, and it’s as if I want to tell them that next time.  Better to leave the element of surprise and let them enjoy these years; let them be kids.

Mentoring

So who here knows much about mentoring?  I just became part of an ad hoc committee for mentoring with our Aspie partnership, and it seems that they want me to come up with fundraising ideas.  I'm wondering if I should apply to write a grant, or maybe do something even bigger.  The key is getting things focused.

The general program idea is online communication between a secondary school student and a mentor of any age level as seen fit.  They speak regularly on advice questions, and there may be regional group get togethers if needed.  This would also be monitored for security.  I hope this turns out to make some sort of difference; I really want to put some energy back into that after running around like I was lost in the woods during 2010.

Speaking of 2010, I have something to say about that year a bit later.

The Autism Speaks Stigma

It's a bit of a paradox as to why an organization that is supposed to profoundly help the autism community is looked down upon with scorn by other groups.  Autism Speaks is the most recognized organization for autism research and awareness.  Many a celebrity (I won't list all of them) has donated and appeared at benefits sponsored by Autism Speaks.  They have a tightly run organization, even with psychologists pointing out signs of behavior and new about autism activism that are linked to the main site.

Of course, there are many folks connected to the spectrum who have major issues with Autism Speaks.  The reasons behind this are that autism is looked at as a "regressive disease" per most language and events by the organization.  Many of those who are high-functioning believe that autism should be treated as a form of neurodiversity.  The videos produced in conjunction with Autism Speaks (look up "I Am Autism") are overblown and make it seem like autism is an end-all type of dysfunction.  They also employ psychologists but are rumored to have no employees actually on the spectrum to provide a crucial viewpoint that would be expected from most non-profit companies with this sort of specialty.

If the last paragraph was any indication, I'm among the latter group who does take issue with the campaigns of Autism Speaks.  There have been a couple moments where I ask myself why I do.  In my own observation, it seems like the focus of Autism Speaks is misunderstood yet not overblown.  My issue with them is that they put so much focus on those with low-functioning autism, which I can understand to a degree, but they appear ignorant to the fact that there are many autistics (meaning we the Aspies) who have blended in with society and have fine traits that would be lost if we were among the NTs.  I think it's a point that doesn't get driven home quite enough behind all of the name calling and protests of Autism Speaks.  I don't necessarily want to see Autism Speaks die a painful death, but I do not like the current way they operate and fail to take the perspectives of the entire spectrum into account.

I apologize for a lack of citations.  It is really meant to be a short opinion.  If there is more to post on this organization or others, which I'm sure there will be, I will have that when there is more time permitting.  It's been a busy Memorial Day weekend.  Cheers.